Let’s be real: Song of Songs is one of the hardest books of the Bible to read. If you’re like me, it’s the one book you skip in your read-through-the-Bible plan because you don’t know what to do with it, it makes you uncomfortable, or both.

Not anymore. Song of Songs for Singles (and Married People Too) is the book I didn’t know I needed—not just because of the explanation of Song of Solomon it offers but also because of the biblical sexual ethic it presents, a biblical sexual ethic missing in many Christian lives and even churches. (What is a sexual ethic? The way we see sex, the way we use it, and the way we keep ourselves when it’s not an option.)

Note: this is not a book about sex, just like Song of Songs is not about sex. Yes, the Song celebrates marital intimacy, but only as part of a greater portrayal of marriage, purity, and how to do both God’s way. Similarly, this book talks about intimacy but only as part of its greater discussion of marriage, purity, and biblical wisdom.

So on the one hand, don’t get grossed out—there’s nothing in the book that goes overboard or needs censoring. On the other hand, don’t treat it lightly. Though it may be awkward at times, this is a conversation we all need to have (or read) at some point—and should be able to have (or read) with maturity. Why? Because if we’re not getting instruction from God’s Word, we’ll get instruction from somewhere else, which will only make it harder for us to live God’s way, whether in singleness or in marriage.

I drank this book like water—like cool water on a Colorado summer day. And it really is cool water in the dry, biblically arid culture in which we live (an irony considering how saturated with sexual content our culture is). I read the book once, copying sections into my journal, and am reading it again with pencil, highlighter, and a discussion partner. Along the way I’ve flipped back through the pages multiple times to review key concepts for myself or to send snippets to friends.

Some of the topics, themes, or elements that have most impacted me include

• the cast of characters in the Song and what/who they represent (hint: NOT Jesus and the church)
• the importance of guiding heart affections and not just correcting external actions
• the comparisons of Proverbs and Song of Songs
• the most balanced discussion of beauty I’ve ever heard
• dating in a way that avoids awakening love prematurely
• the importance of selflessness in marriage (and how to develop it before marriage)
• the beauty and power of the original Hebrew wording that is lost in translation
• the influence of postmodernism, feminism, and other philosophies on Christian thinking and church teaching
• the powerful weapons that men and women respectively bring with them (and need to lay down) in marriage
• the role of (godly) parents, godly mentors, and church/godly community in finding and developing a relationship
• the role of simple, biblical wisdom in searching for and selecting a spouse.

I especially love the way this book balances in-depth commentary and practical application. While the authors regularly dig deep into the original Hebrew for wording, meanings, and intentions that we can’t get from a translation, I never got bogged down in these sections. Rather, the authors’ analysis stays accessible to any lay reader and always turns into easy application–application for both men and women, whether married or single. No matter where you are in your life, you will be equally challenged by the concepts presented and called to action by the principles that follow.

I also loved the smattering of charts and the “dig deeper” sections throughout the book, along with the discussion questions at the end of each chapter that facilitate review and promote retention. The chapter titles are creative and clear, as are the regular headings within the chapters that break up the text for easy reading and strong organization. And I appreciated seeing from both Tim and Angela’s unique perspectives at different times throughout the book.

After hearing about Song of Songs for Singles for so long and getting previews of its content on The Thinklings Podcast, I’m excited and beyond grateful to have this book on my bookshelf. I’ve recommended it to many friends and will recommend it to many more!

Final word: every single, every married person, and every pastor needs to read this book—not just because of the way it breaks down this challenging but beautiful work of art in the middle of the Old Testament, but also because of the way it spells out God’s design for both singles and married people. Wherever you are in your journey, Song of Songs for Singles will challenge you, bless you, and–as it did for me–draw you to a deeper appreciation of God’s beautiful design for our lives.

Learn more about Song of Songs for Singles (and buy your copy) at www.songofsongsforsingles.com!

P.S. I’m never singing “His Banner over Me Is Love” again.